The 2 Percent Rule
by Mommadon
Summary: Adrien has figured it ALL out. He knows who Ladybug is. After all, he IS the most observant boy ever, right?
1. Chapter 1

"Lucky charm!" A make-up brush fell in her hands. Chat played defense around her, watching as she puzzled out this object. He never doubted her plans. She was so decisive, so focused… it was intoxicating. Her pigtails glinted in the sun, almost sparkling a blue color on top of the black. At last, she smiled at him. "Listen up, Kitty, this one's going to be super complicated."

* * *

Adrien whistled nonchalantly as he strolled into his fencing practice. He stretched a bit, then turned his attention to his instructor, who was still quite perturbed that an akuma had interrupted yet another of his lessons.

* * *

"Alright, students, gather 'round, it's time to go over our parrying skill again," he was starting, when a clatter arose from the direction of the locker room. A rather disheveled-looking Kagami barreled through the door and flushed bright pink. Adrien had never seen her look so _off._ "Kagami! Do you know what time it is?" their instructor hissed.

"I'm so sorry," she mumbled, "I got… hit by that akuma and only just made it back to the locker room… I promise it will never happen again."

_Strange,_ Adrien thought, _she's never been late for practice before…_

"Adrien, I promised myself I would never hesitate, and I find myself hesitating."

He tried to make his smile as gentle as possible. "It's alright, Kagami, whatever you need to say, you can trust me."

"I… I like you. A lot. Not just as a friend." His mouth dropped open. "I understand if you need to think about things for a while, but I want to… share everything with you. I don't want there to be secrets between us anymore. I care about you very much."

"Kagami… I…" he floundered a bit before she stepped in.

"Like I said, I don't need an answer right now. I just… needed you to know. I wouldn't want to keep something like that from you; I would never lie to you."

All he could do was nod and give a weak smile as thanks. But his mind was churning possibility after possibility. Could he see himself with Kagami? More and more recently, he realized the answer was yes. He yearned for Ladybug—his brilliant, decisive, powerful, beautiful dark-haired Lady—but Kagami was dear to him. She leaned in for a hug, which he returned with a little pat on her back, before he stepped away, smiled once more, and walked over to where Gorilla was waiting for him with his bushy eyebrows knit together in consternation.

As Adrien buckled his seat belt, he looked back at Kagami. She was just standing there, but still, Adrien couldn't take his eyes off her. Her hair still sparkled in the sun, exactly like…

Wait.

No, that was impossible. Adrien dismissed the idea as quickly as it had popped up.

But the strange thing with impossible ideas is that they're incredibly persistent.

* * *

Adrien flipped through the pictures on his phone. They looked so different. Yet, he reasoned within, she was more than capable of coming up with crazy, convoluted plans. Certainly, if she could use a make-up brush and no fewer than twelve other objects to randomly work together and defeat an akuma who was forcing people to do continual back-flips, she would have similar protections on her precious personal identity? And besides, he knew he looked nothing like Adrien when he was Chat Noir, right?

Then again, they behaved so very differently. Kagami was terse, she was so warm. But once again, he thought about himself. Chat was outgoing, ridiculous, and pawsitively hilarious. Adrien loved being a total goofball. Maybe she used her mask to similarly unwind.

No. It was impossible. He'd _seen _them both, Kagami had been _akumatized, _multiple times, and what about the dragon miraculous? What about Ryuko?

The answers came to him in a flash of such brilliance, Adrien inwardly congratulated himself. She must have known how close he was coming to her personally and started weaving together elaborate ruses. She probably had asked for help from Rena Rouge. And-_why _he hadn't noticed sooner, he didn't know—he didn't actually see Ryuko transform. Mirage! It was definitely possible. Plus the whole dragon-bug thing? Really? She'd totally used the dragon miraculous in the past. It was the only possible explanation.

No more secrets, she had said. I would never lie, she had said.

"Plagg," Adrien commanded, "I'm not asking you. I'm telling you."

Plagg didn't even look up from his Nintendo Switch, but one of his ears did twitch toward him. "Sure kid," he grumbled.

"I know you're just going to deny, so let's just skip that step and get straight to the point."

Plagg only halfheartedly paid Adrien any attention. "What are you blathering about?'

"I know Ladybug's identity."

Alright. So he'd pause his game. "Hey, kid, you know that's danger—"

"It's Kagami, isn't it. No, don't answer that. I already know."

Plagg accidentally cataclysmed his Switch. "Ah crap," he growled at the mess he'd made, "I was almost done with that level!"

Adrien mistook Plagg's intense response as an affirmation. "I knew it!"

"Oh kid, you're… well…" Plagg, still miffed about his favorite toy, decided that he'd have to enjoy his second-favorite (teasing Adrien) for the rest of the day. "Yeah." Plagg rolled his eyes and filled his voice with as much sarcasm as he could, "You're right. You're _so _smart. I can't believe it took you this long."

However, Plagg had forgotten that his chosen was Adrien Agreste, the world's most oblivious boy.

* * *

Adrien's heart raced wildly as he dove behind a dumpster to drop his transformation. He ignored Plagg's whiny voice and abandoned him back there by vaulting himself back over the dumpster and racing into the street. "Adrien, what are you doingggg-" he heard trailing behind him, but he didn't care. He knew. He knew _everything _and he wanted her desperately and nothing anyone could say or do would keep him from her in this moment.

"Ladybug!" he called, banking on her miraculous-enhanced hearing. She was waving goodbye to baby August's mother and had that soft look on her face that just made his heart go wild. As if it could go any wilder, that is. "Ladybug!" he called again, and this time, she looked up with her eyebrows pulling her mask into a little V between her gorgeous eyes.

_"Adrien?_" she gasped. "Is everything alright?"

He raced to her. Then, feeling bolder than he ever had in his life, he took her hand. She audibly gasped. "Everything is great," he sighed. "You… you're great." He shook his head and tried to regain control of his tongue. "I mean, I just wanted to say thank you and I wanted you to know… that… that…" yeah, controlling his voice wasn't going to work. Not when she was looking up at him like that, from under her giveaway-dark hair.

Her earrings chirped once. "Are you sure everything is ok? You seem… different."

He shook his head and smiled down at her. "It's ok, you don't have to hide behind the mask. You _know _me. I promise I won't tell anyone."

Her jaw hit the floor. Her knees crumpled. He pulled her up around her waist to prevent her from totally collapsing. _"What?" _she nearly screamed. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in. She smelled divine. He pressed his cheek to hers and whispered in her ear.

"I know who you are and I need you to know that I love you too." She was shaking in his arms. He leaned back so he could look into those rich blue eyes of hers—so different from when they were unmasked, but then again, his eyes were different as well—and, well, she still hadn't pulled away and she still hadn't said anything, so he slowly leaned toward her, wrapping one hand around her jaw gently, and kissed her. Tentative at first, then she kissed him back, and suddenly her hands were in his hair and her chest was heaving and his arms were pulling her even closer and her toes had left the ground and he was spinning her and there were only two people on the whole planet…

"Adrien," she whispered softly. Her earrings beeped again. His spine shivered as she said his name in recognition.

"Ladybug," he whispered back.

"How did you find me?" she sobbed.

He set her down and wrapped her cheeks with his fingers. "You sure didn't make it easy."

Her earrings started chirping much more insistently. She snapped to attention and fingered them with a gloved hand. "Oh no—" she gasped.

He smiled. "Go ahead and change elsewhere, but I know exactly where to find you."

He leaned in and kissed her again, just as breathless and intoxicating as the first. She'd never kissed him like that before—but he wasn't complaining. They pulled apart and she was smiling and reaching for him with this desperate look of longing in her eyes. "Please do, Adrien," she responded.

He smirked. "But don't think that I'll go easy on you, now."

The final dot on her earring was flashing like crazy. Her eyes crunched again in confusion, but she had no time to ruminate over his words and used her yo-yo to lift herself to the nearest rooftop. He watched her disappear into the Paris skyline, and couldn't help but pump his fist in the air with a hollering cheer.

* * *

_**Author's note: **Oh brother what has happened here? I should probably be more careful about when I write and just go to bed... but... well, who knows? *Mommadon throws caution into the wind.* What are your crazy fan theories? Seriously... I need to hear them... I'm not sure how I can get out of this predicament... LOL_


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Adrien dove into the sedan smile first. "Would you take me to the Tsurugi's?" he asked Gorilla, positively quivering with excitement. Gorilla's fat eyebrows surveyed him in the rear-view mirror.

Adrien was humming to himself and looking at what he assumed were pictures of Ladybug on his phone. That was Adrien's favorite pastime, Gorilla knew… but today he seemed different. He was bouncing in his seat, his fingers were trembling, and he kept touching his lips and then smiling even wider.

Gorilla took Adrien to the Tsurugi's home and noted the large number of vehicles parked nearby. The reception was already in full-swing. _All the better_, he thought. He dropped Adrien off, then parked and hustled in to keep a closer eye on his teenaged charge.

* * *

"Adrien!" Kagami called over the amiable chatter of the room. His heart skipped a few beats as she waved to him. "I'm so glad you could make it. I know how much you detest these kinds of events."

He just waved it off. "You know so much about me. I'm glad I'm learning so much about you."

She raised an eyebrow at his cryptic response and decided to change the subject. "Would you like to get something to eat?"

"I do if you do, _Milady."_

She nodded and started walking toward the buffet table. That wasn't the reaction he'd been anticipating. But then again, it was noisy in the room. Maybe she hadn't caught his nickname for her. "I know how much you like the Dupain-Cheng macarons, so I asked Mother if they could cater again," she was rambling. He decided to get a little more obvious.

"Yeah, and you'll probably enjoy the leftovers. Or, at least, your… friend… will," he proudly announced—not daring to say the word 'Tikki' in a crowded room. She gave him an odd look.

"Well, I _do _enjoy a pastry now and again," she responded. They approached the buffet table loaded with the finest goods the Boulangerie-Patisserie could provide. Marinette was standing behind the table.

"Hi Marinette," Adrien said automatically, taking a napkin and selecting a few of his favorite pain-au-chocolat and a few macarons to start off the evening.

"H-H-H"

Kagami was delicately picking out a dark chocolate macaron. He smiled at Marinette to prevent himself from staring at Kagami any longer, but it was difficult. Of course, she was so different without her mask. She still had that fiery confidence, but here she was so formal and careful. But he knew what she was like on the fencing piste… there was no mistaking that power and prowess. "Would your friend prefer raspberry or pistachio?" he asked her.

"What friend?" Kagami responded, turning to lock eyes with him. He winked at her and grabbed one of each.

"Thanks Marinette," Adrien said kindly.

Marinette nodded rapidly, "Of course, Adrien, I mean, anything you'd like. Not that I know everything you like, but, well, I know what you like…"

"Kagami?" Madame Tsurugi's voice called.

"Hang on, I'll be right back," Kagami pouted as she spun on her heel and marched toward her mother's summons.

Adrien waved at her, a little punch-drunk, then turned back to Marinette and her trays of hors d'oeuvres. If Adrien looked punch-drunk, Marinette looked totally plastered. "Adrien! You… you found me!"

"Yeah," he responded, wondering what Kagami might like to drink. "I found you right here."

"You… were right. You knew right where I'd be."

Adrien sunk his teeth into the pain au chocolat and sighed. "Oh Marinette, how _do _you do it?" He inwardly wondered if Kagami had a secret in with Dupain Boulangerie-Patisserie just to keep wonderful things for Tikki on hand all the time.

She blushed, "It's not easy, that's for sure. It's taken a lot of practice. But once I stopped tripping, I've been managing ok."

Kagami, who had returned partway through Marinette's response, interrupted, "Sorry," and helped herself to another macaron. "My mother keeps trying to set me up with the sons of all her business partners. At least I could quickly point out that _that _one is six years old."

Adrien laughed far too loud at that, and Marinette swooned at the sound of his laughter. _He's so happy! _Marinette thought as her heart accelerated. She wobbled and almost tripped.

"Oh, Marinette, are you alright?" Kagami asked surreptitiously. "Do you need to sit down?"

_She's so thoughtful! _Adrien thought to himself with pride.

"No, no, Kagami, I'm fine, thanks," Marinette replied. "I've just been in these heels a little longer than I should have." To prove her point, she kicked off her shoes.

"Yeah, heels are the worst," Adrien responded mechanically.

Marinette sighed, "What I wouldn't give for my favorite pair of boots right now. The ones that were made for me, you know?"

"Uh-huh," he nodded, looking back at Kagami with fondness.

Kagami smiled lightly at Marinette. "You have a pair of custom boots? All I've ever seen you wear is ballet flats."

Marinette was still smiling dopily at Adrien. "Well, these boots are special. Adrien's seen them, right?"

"Sure," he said, not really paying attention to anything but the way Kagami had thought of others selflessly… _so _like her…

"You know, the red ones? That I only wear for special occasions?"

Kagami elbowed Adrien and he snapped to focus on what Marinette was saying. "Of course I do," he responded mechanically, smiling at Marinette.

"I'd love to see them sometime, maybe even get the name of your shoe maker," Kagami smirked. Marinette seemed much more focused now, so she backed away briefly.

"Oh," Adrien laughed, "Marinette makes all her own clothes. She's a great designer."

The blood returned to Marinette's face with force. "Y-yeah, I d-do, but I didn't make my red boots or any of the outfit I wear with them—My friend did."

"Really?" Kagami smiled, "Must be a good friend! Think they'd be up for another pair?"

Marinette's eyes bounced back to Kagami's and she bit her lip, "I'm afraid they're one-of-a-kind."

Kagami shrugged, "Bummer. A girl can always use a pair of fantastic boots, am I right, Marinette? Of course, they cost an arm and a leg these days, but quality is worth it."  
Marinette giggled, "My boots were free, but I do have to regularly send her macarons."

Kagami laughed. So Adrien laughed. Which made Marinette laugh again.

Another guest came to the buffet table and the conversation about Marinette's red boots ended. "Sorry, Kagami, I need to get back to the guests. Adrien, I'll… talk to you later?"

As Marinette stole to the kitchen to re-load some of the display trays, Adrien took Kagami by the hand and marched her toward the dance floor.

Kagami seemed to be floating in his arms. He twirled her and pulled her in. She looked up into his eyes and smiled. He felt like he was melting. "I'm so glad you came tonight," she said.

He smirked. "You know I'd follow you anywhere, Milady."

She smiled wider. "Milady. I like that nickname. It's cute."

Again, not the reaction he'd anticipated, but he sighed contentedly anyway. "I never dreamed it could be like this," he said as he twirled her again and used the motion as an excuse to bring her ever closer to him. He was right over her head. He couldn't stop himself and nuzzled his nose into her hair, inhaling her exotic perfume. It was distinctly different without the mask—woodsy and citrusy like a crisp autumn morning, as compared to Ladybug's vanilla and blackberry spring afternoon. Hm. Interesting. Then again, he didn't know what he had expected… so much of her was different without her mask, why would her scent be the same?

"Adrien!" she gasped at his closeness.

"Oh, sorry," he said, spinning her again so she would return to her more formal distance, "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable there, Milady."

"Hmm," she murmured as she x-rayed him with those so-different-yet-so-powerful brown eyes.

The ground trembled. Suddenly, everyone in the room's phone started buzzing. Kagami retrieved hers first: "Akuma Alert." There was a collective groan from the party guests, and they all started trudging toward the kitchen—there must have been a safe room back there that they'd just recently left.

"Seriously, Hawkmoth?" Adrien groaned out loud, "Two in one day?"

Kagami's head snapped up. She was wearing the most interesting little grin. "Come on, Adrien, let's get you to safety."

Adrien figured he must not have been quite obvious enough with his hints, and considering the room was still filled with other people mulling around, he didn't feel like it was quite the time or place for a full-on reveal, so he just smiled and nodded, noting, with pride, that her concern was for _him, _not for herself. "I'll be alright, you… just worry about yourself," he responded, before running toward the exit.

The ground rumbled again, and a blast shattered the front window. Suddenly, the air of annoyance in the room shifted to full-on panic. People were screaming and running and Adrien's punch-drunk face was placed by sheer determination. Most everyone started barreling toward the safe room, but three teenagers swam upstream toward the exit. They collided full-force about two meters before the door.

"Oh, Adrien, I'm sorry—" Marinette was bumbling.

"Woops, go ahead," Adrien was accommodating.

"You two, find shelter," Kagami was dictating.

None of the three moved for a moment, they just looked each other over, before being startled back to reality by yet another earthquake. Then, at last, they scattered in different directions.

* * *

_**Author's Note**: Thanks for the love, everyone! I love reading the comments and ideas. Hit me with your best shot! _


	3. Chapter 3

Goodness gracious, Ladybug was on fire!

Every move was punctuated with an extra flip or spin. Her smile was a meter wide and brighter than the sun. Her musical laugh rang out over the streets of Paris. Chat Noir's heart raced as he watched her soaring.

She landed an impressive volley of punches on the akuma and then flipped away, only to swing in on her yo-yo from another direction and knock it sailing with her feet. She giggled. "Not so scary now, eh?" She landed next to Chat and the two started running up the street after it. "Coming, Chat?" she teased and elbowed him, then leapt and did a series of forward handsprings to vault herself into a Tsukahara-style arc that gave Chat the most exhilarating whiplash.

"Something claw-some, Milady?" he quirked, spinning his staff and trying to help her mesmerizing battle.

"Have you ever noticed how beautiful Paris can be in the fall?" she sighed while using her yo-yo to snare and yank down the akuma's limbs.

"Hm, if I didn't know any better, I'd say my Lady'd been hit with a love-bug!"

She paused briefly, looked at him with doughy eyes, then shook her head back to attention. "I'm sorry, Chat, I shouldn't have brought it up," she tried, but couldn't wipe the lovesick ecstasy from her voice entirely.

"No no, it's ok," he responded, landing a few more remarkable blows of his own, "I'm really glad to see you happy, Bugaboo. Seri-claws-ly!"

She laughed. _She laughed, _Chat noted, _and chose not to admonish the word "Bugaboo" or that terrific pun…_ She must've really been bitten. Hard. He nodded and grinned, his chest puffing with self-satisfaction.

The akuma roared and the two worked harder to make some headway. Ladybug called for her lucky charm, asked for Chat's belt, and then started wrangling her plan into action. He sighed in contentment as he watched her work.

"Hey Yodeler, prepare to meet your doom!" she taunted with a grin, and then she winked at Chat. She actually winked at him.

The plan, of course, went off without a hitch, and Chat found himself cataclysming the suspenders and then stepping back while Ladybug danced about purifying the akuma and then throwing the plunger into the air with a sing-song "Miraculous Ladybug!"

Moments later, he caught her hand as she tried to pound his fist. He pressed his lips to her knuckles instead. She blushed a bit, but smiled. "Silly Kitty."

"Milady?" he asked quietly, letting his eyes ask the questions.

She bit her lower lip and dug her toe into the ground in the most adorable way. "It's just… the boy I love… well… I found out that he loves me back."

She had been nervous to tell him, worried it would break his heart. She'd been holding back. But he deserved to know; to understand. He surprised her, though. She'd been expecting to see rejection on his face, but instead, he sprang in the air with a dazzling, toothy smile.

"Really? I mean, that's awesome, Ladybug! I mean, I'm so happy for you, Milady!" His ring gave a beep as her cheeks flared that adorable pink again.

"Thanks, Chat Noir. I really value your friendship, and for you to say that means the world to me." She pulled him in for a warm embrace and he stuck his nose into her hair again, taking in the clean vanilla and blackberry combination that dwelled there. He memorized everything about this moment, and when he backed away, he winked and held out his fist for their customary pound-it.

"You deserve a lifetime of happiness, Bugaboo. Cat-chya later!"

She wrinkled her nose playfully. "Bug out!"

* * *

"There you are, Adrien," Kagami smiled. "I was afraid you'd gotten lost."

He winked at her. She blushed slightly. "You know _exactly _where I was."

She smiled. "I'm glad you were safe."

"Oh, you know me, Mr. Cat-ious…"

Again, her eyebrow just peaked and there was no further response.

"Say, wanna sneak out and go find Andre?" he asked.

She bit her bottom lip, "Well, the reception had only just started when the first akuma showed up, and then it was interrupted by the second, and we only just got back… I think we'd better stay a bit longer so my Mother won't come looking for me."

"Whatever you want, Bugaboo," he chortled and tried to move in closer.

She scowled and stopped moving. "_What _did you just call me?"

Oh right, she didn't like that nickname. "Oh, uh," he responded sheepishly. "I was just Fe-Line a little silly there."

She shrugged it off and found the two of them a pair of chairs on the rim of the room. "So, where did you run off to? During the Akuma?"

He rolled his eyes. Man, she was surprisingly dense. Adorable. "You know exactly where I was, just like I know exactly where you were."

Kagami's heart skipped a beat. Wait, how did he know about _that? _She started panicking, feeling the color rise on her neck. "How did you… you…how did you…?"

He laughed and poked her nose gently. "I told you, you sure didn't make it easy."

Kagami had been so, so careful. She knew her mother didn't approve of Anime, so Kagami had always made sure that she was totally alone and could guarantee thirty minutes, minimum, uninterrupted before sneaking in another episode. She knew that her recent habit of grabbing an episode or two during akuma attacks was risky, but she couldn't help it. The season was winding down and it was so intense! But she'd been so certain everyone was in the safe room before she'd slipped outside to start the next episode and she'd kept an eye on the akuma via the news and as soon as Ladybug had called for her lucky charm she'd returned to the party and… oh no. _How did he find out?_  
"Listen," she begged, suddenly going very serious, "you can't tell _anyone."_

"Moi?" he scoffed, pressing his hand over his heart, "I would never…"

"Seriously, Adrien! My mother would go ballistic if she knew!"

"Hey, I totally get parents being strict…"  
"If she found out…" Kagami's voice went distant and concerned, then she pinched the bridge of her nose and her giveaway-bangs masked her eyes. "You have no idea how important it is to me. It's my only escape."

Adrien's heart swelled. "I totally get it, Kagami. I know exactly how it feels."

Kagami was still hesitant to discuss her Anime addiction in a public setting, so she squeezed his hand. "Thanks for understanding. It's so hard to find anyone who knows just how big of a release it can be."

"Oh yeah, I totally get it. Like, if my Father were to ever find out about… well, you know…" maybe she didn't know, but he thought she _must _have picked up on his clues by now... "I'm not sure I'd be allowed out of the house again. Like, ever." He laughed as he imagined his Father's reaction to discovering how he'd been using all his 'piano practice' time.

She x-rayed him again with those striking brown eyes, and then nodded. Her voice dropped to barely audible, "So you see why I can't talk about it in public, why even if you asked me about it point-blank, I'd just have to deny…"

"Oh," he started, then, understanding breaking over him like dawn in the east, "_Oh." _Then, Adrien started kicking himself for being so vocal all evening. He had totally invaded her privacy and could have potentially blown her careful cover. It made even _more _sense why she had to change her appearance, her behavior, her voice… everything… why she had to use the Fox miraculous to help her cover up her tracks… Why Kagami had faked her own akumatization in order to prevent anyone from finding out… And then especially that one time when her own mother had been akumatized… No wonder she'd dug up the Dragon miraculous for that little adventure and then purposefully revealed her identity as Ryuko so that she'd 'never be able to use the miraculous again' thereby preventing any further suspicion or hope that she might be called on again and have to set up another elaborate ruse… oh man. He felt like an idiot, but dang, s_he was good._


	4. Chapter 4

Ladybug was hiding in a tree just outside the Agreste Mansion, freaking out. As if Tikki could respond, she muttered aloud, "This is so stupid. This is so dangerous. I really should not be doing this."

Adrien's light came on. Her heart stuttered. He was in his room. She counted several minutes, just to make sure he would really be alone, and then used her yo-yo to swing to the security wall and got a closer look. She could make out his blonde hair seated at his computer, whose triple screens were displaying a collage of photos. He was definitely alone.

"Come on, Marinette," she chastised herself, "you can be brave. He's already told you he loves you, this is just… the next step… right? Oh who am I kidding, this is a dream come true…"

She threw the pebble in her hand so lightly that it fell short. "Shoot." She grabbed another and threw it again, and a third, and finally, the fourth hit his window with a clunk. She winced when it was way louder than she hoped. She saw him move. She quickly tried a sexy sprawl across the top of the wall, but then thought better of that and was halfway scrambled to a more normal sitting position when she heard the motorized window hum open.

Adrien was standing in front of his white couch, his smile slack and his hands quaking. His Lady was sitting just outside his window. _Ladybug. _Just sitting there. Right there.

"I'm cool, I'm cool, I'm cool," Ladybug chanted to herself under her breath. The open window invited her, but she wanted to make a really memorable grand entrance. Yeah. That would be cool.

She jumped, did a summersault, opened to a barrel roll to turn her body sideways just in time to slip between the narrow window panes, and then tightened in for another summersault… and crashed splay-legged on Adrien's floor.

He couldn't help but chuckle as she sprang to her feet, arms flailing briefly, and then she posed with her biceps flexed and her chest held high. "Hey," she said, suddenly feeling terribly stupid.

"L-L-L" He was stuttering. Suave, confident, brilliant Adrien Agreste was _stuttering. _Ladybug felt pretty dang proud that she'd managed to illicit such a reaction—and totally vindicated for her less-than-stellar performances twice before today.

She shook out her dark hair and rapidly regained her composure after her 10.0 landing. "Adrien, I was thinking… we should probably talk about… you know. Earlier today."

"Oh, yeah," he sighed, sheepishly rubbing the back of his head. "Would you like to sit down? I can put on a movie? Or would you like something to eat?"

_Yes. To all the above. For as long as we both shall live._

"I… I don't want to be a bother."

"You could never bother me."

She just smiled and sunk to his couch, unable to pry her eyes off of his. But then, her mission swam back to the forefront of her mind. Curses. She really didn't want to do this.

"I… I mainly came because… I really need to know how you figured out my identity… not that I'm angry… I mean, I'm actually kinda… kinda excited… but… with me being, you know, Ladybug and all, it's really dangerous and—"

Adrien cut her off by taking her hand in his. Her fingers were so dainty and slim. "The more I got to know you, the you beneath the mask, the more I saw the similarities," he said quietly. "Eventually I just… I just knew."

She dropped her cheek to one hand and just gazed at him. His words were like bathing in caramel. She shuddered in delight. But wait! That blasted mission of hers! "Oh, well, I'm glad it wasn't something I slipped up on. Because if it had, I… I don't know what I'd do."

Adrien remembered how nervous Kagami had been about Adrien knowing her secret, and he didn't want to make Ladybug feel uncomfortable. "I promised you I would never share, and I won't. We don't even have to mention it."

Ladybug's piercing blue eyes—_gosh how did she do that? I mean, even Chat's eyes stayed Adrien's shade of green—_softened in response. "Thanks, Adrien. I really, really like you. I have for a long time. But I fear… I fear that being together would be really dangerous, for both of us. And I couldn't do that to you." Her eyes dropped to her fidgety toes.

Well, _this _complicates things, Adrien pondered to himself. Kagami had been pretty clear about discussing anything with her when there was another human being within earshot, and now Ladybug was keeping him at arm's length. He'd been so paw-sitive that she'd caught his hints… but maybe he was more subtle than even he realized. Yes, he nodded, that was it. He'd grown so accustomed to hiding his Chat-side that he couldn't reveal it even when he wanted to. He'd just have to be beyond obvious.

He ran a finger down her jawline and she melted toward him. "I understand what you're doing, and I know how hard it is to protect the secret of the Miraculous. You have my word—I'll never breathe of this to another living soul. But I will never stop loving you, especially now that I know how much I love you—on both sides of the mask."

That seemed to appease her. She leaned forward, lowering her guard, and he understood her body language. He slipped one hand behind her head and brought her in for a tender kiss.

Spring had sprung. Flowers were blooming everywhere—not just any flowers, but fields of blackberry and vanilla orchids and Adrien danced through them as they exploded in fragrant clouds of pure bliss.

But spring was cut short by an icy blast of empty space between him and the Sun, and when he opened his eyes, she was looking mournful again. "No," she lamented, "no, that wasn't smart. As much as I want this—"

"_We _want this—" he corrected her, not wanting her to ever doubt his affections—

"Ok, as much as we might want this, I really can't. Not until Hawkmoth is defeated."

He sat back and employed all his—he was proud to admit—ample brain power to figuring out how to leap this hurdle.

"We could date in secret?"

She sized him up and looked quite flattered. "Yeah, but, no offense, we both have a tendency to attract attention wherever we go, and I'm not sure I could keep the smirk off my face."

He blushed. She blushed back. "Well, I know that we can't talk about anything in public, and if private is off the table as well…"

"How about a group thing? But as our civilian selves? We could still see each other, but nobody needs to know that we're really together."

He tapped his lips. "That could work… at least for now."

She smiled at her own suggestion. "What time do you have available? Let's arrange something," she asked, even though she knew his schedule by heart. It was probably for the best not to reveal _that _little tidbit right now.

"How about… Friday night? My Father usually sends me to photoshoots or tournaments on weekends, but this week I've got a few open hours. And if we make it a group thing, I can convince him that we're all… studying or something."

"Great idea!" she bubbled in reply. "And we could meet at the library but then walk to find Andre or something? Let's each invite some people so it won't be too obvious. I'll invite… let's think… maybe Alya? Juleka? Oh, of course Kagami," she smiled.

He winked. "Naturally. And I'll invite Nino and Luka and we couldn't forget Marinette."  
She blushed, "Nope, wouldn't want to forget _her,_" Ladybug sighed.

"Do you think she'd be willing to bring treats?"

Ladybug rolled her eyes dramatically. "I don't know, it might take some convincing. Although we'll want to lay off the sweets if we're going to find Andre…"

"Good point. Still, I'd go for Dupain macarons over ice cream any day," he added. She blushed even more furiously. "And I'm pretty sure you feel the same way."

There were suddenly noisy footsteps just outside Adrien's door. Ladybug's eyes popped open in horror and she turned into a silent blur as she zipped to the second-floor book cases just as Adrien's door popped open. The light from the hallway illuminated Gorilla's hulking outline.

"Oh, hey," Adrien waved at his bodyguard from his seat on the couch. "Sorry, did I have the TV too loud? I'll turn it down."

Gorilla surveyed the room from his position. Adrien's eyes flitted up to where Ladybug was pressed against a bookshelf and holding perfectly still. He didn't notice the way Gorilla's gaze lingered on the still-open window or the lifeless television.

Gorilla harrumphed and nodded. Adrien bid him goodnight. He stumped off and the door swung shut with a dull thud.

Ladybug tentatively slid down the spiral staircase and back to Adrien's waiting arms. "Whew, that was a close one!" she whispered.

"Maybe too close," he muttered. She hugged him and looked up into his gorgeous green stare.

"Maybe. Friday, though."

He nodded and kissed the crown of her head. "Friday."

She skipped to the edge of the window, blew him a kiss, and then found herself flying over the rooftops of Paris without a care in the world.

* * *

_**Author's note: **__When I first got this crazy idea, I didn't know it would lead me to the dark-and-sinister-cobweb-strewn-corner-of-doom that is Ladrien. But y'know what? I'm LOVING it in this lava swamp!_


	5. Chapter 5

The front steps to the school were crowded when Adrien arrived. He checked the clock on his phone—he was early, as usual—but the other students seemed particularly excited this morning. Adrien's cat-like curiosity was thoroughly piqued.

"Thank you," he told his bodyguard, who nodded and waited for Adrien to exit before leaving the teen in peace. Adrien took the steps two at a time and pushed past the crowd to find an even more exuberant group inside the courtyard.

"A-lix! A-lix! A-lix!" the group was chanting. Oh, another random competition. Adrien sighed and tried to squirm past the crowd toward the locker room but couldn't help but notice what was going on.

Alix was standing on Kim's shoulders, trying to retrieve a basketball that had gotten stuck on a ledge behind the hoop. Alix was flailing around like mad but was nearly a meter too short to reach the ball. Their playful banter had drawn the attention of the group.

"Oh, you two are hopeless," Marinette chimed from the sidelines. "Allow me. Hey, Adrien, will you give me a lift?" she called.

Adrien accidentally rammed headlong into Ivan. "Who, me?"

Marinette laughed and strolled up to him, "Is there another 'Adrien' I need to be aware of?" Her smile was so soft today, her voice so rich… surprising wasn't a strong enough word.

Marinette dragged Adrien and positioned him a few paces away from the inaccessible ball, then she started backing up to half court. Adrien only had a second to realize what she was doing and crouch with his hands locked before she barreled toward him, stepped on his hands, and allowed him to launch her into the air. She tucked her knees in and did a summersault before effortlessly grabbing the ball, then hooking her elbow around the post of the hoop and twirling to the ground fireman-style. She nonchalantly tossed the ball to Alix, who caught it amid the deafening roar of the crowd.

Adrien just gawked for a bit. Marinette sidled up to him and bumped his arm with her shoulder. "Thanks for the hand," she winked.

"Anytime," he stammered, noticing for the first time how brilliant blue Marinette's eyes were.

* * *

Mme. Bustier's classroom effervesced with the exuberance of an impending weekend. She had just assigned a new book for French literature and, theoretically, the students should be forming their study groups and starting their reading journals, but one glance was all it took to confirm that they were doing anything but. Sabrina was dutifully copying down the questions on the board, but Mme. Bustier was relatively certain that was only to make sure Chloe got a decent grade, since the latter was far too engrossed in filing her nails. The rest of the students did appear to be making an effort to line up study group plans, however, and when she noted they only had five more minute before lunch break, she chose to ignore the superfluous conversation.

"Alright class," she called, clapping her hands once to bring them back to attention. "That's all we have, so unless anyone has a question, I'll let you go a bit early."

Lila's hand flew up. The class groaned. Rather than make everyone wait—which, Mme. Bustier had a sinking suspicion, was the point—the teacher encouraged Lila to follower her to her personal office and waved good-bye to the remainder of her students.

Marinette was packing up her journal in her book bag when a bangle-bedecked hand grabbed her wrist.

"Marinette, what is _with _you today?" Nino hissed at her. He typically made it his personal mission to avoid getting involved in any such matters, as meddling with people's crushes had always led him down the path of certain doom, but Marinette was being so brazenly obvious that even _he _had noticed and felt obligated to intervene.

"What're you talking about?" she said sweetly as she scratched behind a ponytail.

"You! Flirting! Joking around with Adrien! Setting up a study group with him and not even blushing about it!"

She pursed her lips quizzically and cocked her head. "I really don't see what the problem is."

"You go from barely being able to speak three coherent words around him to suddenly finishing his sentences. Don't get me wrong, it's kinda adorable, but I don't know what could've possibly wrought this kind of change overnight… except maybe an akuma. I mean…" his eyes narrowed, "you're still… _you, _right?" He jabbed a finger in her shoulder twice as if to test if she was still a solid human being.

Marinette tossed her head back and laughed. Nino was totally into Alya, and very happy in his relationship thankyouverymuch, but when Marinette laughed like that, the memory of his fleeting crush on her twanged in his stomach. She really was a beautiful girl. "I'm still me," she giggled. "I can't tell you what happened." She sighed sadly despite her dazzling smile.

"Oh, so you admit something _did _happen?"

Her eyes burst open and she gaped for a bit, "N-no, no—"

"Aha! Well, I'll just go pester Adrien about it. That dude has no filter."

Marinette had far more confidence in Adrien's ability to keep a secret than was safe. She narrowed her eyes and leaned closer to Nino. "Good luck with that."

"Good luck with what?" Alix said behind Nino, stuffing half a sandwich into her mouth whole. Marinette jumped—she'd not noticed the attention this private conversation had drawn. Desperate to avoid any reality where Alix was privy to information regarding her love life, Marinette grabbed Nino's wrist and shook her head emphatically. But Nino just gave her a malicious smile.

"Marinette's got a _boy."_

"_What?"_ Alya screamed from the other side of the room where she'd been showing her latest blog post to Rose. "Marinette! Why didn't you say something?"

Marinette writhed like a fish out of water as the class formed a ravenous mob, huddled around her, thirsting for information. "Nino, you've got it all wrong," Marinette chided, praying her voice wouldn't crack. "Nothing happened, nothing at all."

"Well, now we KNOW something's up!" Alix practically screamed.

"Yeah, girl, spill the beans…" Alya hummed.

"We're all dying to know—" Marinette's stomach did a gold-medal-worthy series of back hand handsprings as Adrien turned in his seat and raised a gorgeously curved eyebrow, "who's the lucky fellow?"

She just swallowed her giggle and rolled her eyes at him. "Wouldn't _you _like to know."

The classroom erupted as spectacularly as Mt. Vesuvius. Marinette's heart palpitated at Adrien's dumbfounded expression. Alya pounced first, grabbing Marinette by the shoulders and shaking her violently.

"GIRL!"

"Seriously, guys!" Marinette fought back, unable to tame the triumphant laughter entirely, "I do _not _have a boy. I promise, Alya, if that ever happens, you'll be the first to know." It was true enough that she didn't feel terribly guilty saying it. "Come on, it's lunch time. Let's go get something to eat."

The knowledge that Adrien was going to be hanging out with his beautiful Lady that evening had him bouncing from toe to toe. He threw his arms around Marinette and Nino and said, "So, study group tonight… I was thinking we'd might like to go for a walk afterword?"

Marinette felt a bolt of lightning run from the crown of her head to the heels of her feet. Or maybe that was ice water? Nope, definitely lightning. She shivered as she turned and felt Adrien's warm breath on her neck. "Already planning on it," she responded while letting her lashes dance across the bottom of her bangs. _That _caught his attention.

"Hey, uh, Mari," Nino pleaded, oblivious to the way Adrien was looking at Marinette's lips, "Any chance the bakery might have a few leftovers tonight?"

She wrinkled her nose. "Oh Nino, you _know _I won't leave my bro hanging."

"Seriously, Marinette, whoever's managed to win your heart has got to be the luckiest dude in the world," he sighed.

She giggled. _Hm, _Adrien mused, _she has a really musical laugh. I never noticed that before._ "I dunno, I think he'd only come in second place… since, obviously, _I _am the luckiest one in the world…" She squeezed the two of them back, then skipped off to join her girlfriends for lunch. Adrien waved bashfully as she went.

* * *

Plagg was stuffed. He'd devoured all of Adrien's typical lunchtime cheese allotment, but when Adrien returned to the classroom after lunch break, Plagg had smelled the camembert as if it was calling his name. _Plaaaaaagg, _it sang to him, _Plaaaaaagg, I'm right here… come and eat me…_

Plagg had very few rules that he swore by. Heeding the siren call of beautifully aged camembert was number one.

So, despite the smell coming from Marinette's book bag, he'd ducked behind Alya's legs and then phased through the fabric to find the full wheel of ooey-gooey-gloriousness with a complimentary ribbon. It was gone in less than four seconds. (Plagg had decided this one should be savored and not inhaled.)

Now he was leaning back, massaging his distended stomach and relishing the heady euphoria that humans called a food coma.

Why, in ten thousand years, Plagg hadn't learned to spot this trap, Tikki would never quite understand, but that didn't prevent her from taking full advantage of it. She pounced and wrapped her tiny paws around his mouth. "Shhh!" she warned.

He struggled briefly, before realizing it was just Tikki and relaxing back into Marinette's compact. "Hey Sugarcube, thanks for the gift," he grinned, patting his tummy proudly.

"Plagg," she growled, "you know why I called you."

"Because you found the perfect wheel of camembert and you just _had _to show me? Mission accomplished!" He made to leave the bag but she grabbed his tail and yanked him backward.

"This whole thing with Adrien! I don't know how in the world he found out who Ladybug is but this is _bad!" _

Plagg looked at the quivering watery orbs on the front of Tikki's face and laughed. "Seriously? You're worried about _that_?"

She scowled. "You're _not?_"

"Well, the kid's got to have some fun, hasn't he? I see no harm in him enjoying a little cuddle time now and again."

"But he knows! Nobody can ever know Ladybug's identity!"

Plagg cackled, much to Tikki's chagrin.

"Plagg! This is _not _funny!"

"Oh Sugarcube, you're way too uptight! It is high time you learned to relax and enjoy the ride. These things always work out in the end."

She growled at him. Plagg loved it when she growled. "They work out because _I _make them work out. Don't you remember the last time your chosen figured out mine?" Plagg rolled his eyes and pretended he wasn't listening. "Because I sure do! And I tell you what, rebuilding the Parthenon piece-by-piece was _not _my idea of fun and I absolutely refuse to help you this time. You wouldn't want to get cooped up in the Miracle Box for another twelve-hundred years, would you?"

He glared as murderously as his jaunty cat ears would allow. "You would never let Ladybug lock me away, would you, Sugarcube?"

Tikki huffed and folded her arms dramatically. "It'd be no less than you deserve, you selfish coward."

Avoiding ticking off Tikki just happened to be Plagg's second life rule. Sure, teasing her from time to time was his favorite pastime, but he always knew where to draw the line. This was it. "Ok ok fine, I'll talk to him. But just so you know, I don't think it's necessary."

"Why not?"

"Because Chat Noir just happens to be the smartest kid on the planet."

* * *

_**Author's Note:** Thank you all for the love on this ridiculous little fic! I love reading the reviews-seriously, best thing ever! Have a nice day!_


	6. Chapter 6

Nino didn't think he'd ever been so unsatisfied with anything in his life. But then again, that was hardly saying something; Nino's life was pretty satisfying. Yet, he reasoned back with himself, that only made his discomfort worse. Something must have happened between Adrien and Marinette. It simply _must _have… It was the only explanation.

If Marinette was acting unusually confident today, it was _nothing _compared to how Adrien was acting. That dude had been grinning like an idiot ever since he'd entered the school. Mme. Bustier had to call his attention no fewer than four times, his history notes had been adorned with hearts, and when Nino asked him what he'd eaten for lunch, he'd responded, "That sounds nice dear."

Mme. Mendeleiev's chemistry room was alive as the students worked on determining the chemical compound they'd randomly been assigned—Bunsen burners were hissing, partner groups chattering, and Nino found his golden opportunity.

"So, Adrien," he started as imperturbably as possible, "Alya and I were going to check out a movie this weekend and I was thinking it's time we got you a girlfriend. I've got this cute girl I met at an event I DJ'd last week and was wondering if you might like to come along as her blind date?"

Adrien was focused on the color of the flame and didn't even look up at Nino. "Would you say that's more of a burnt sienna or Ladybug red?"

"Adrien? Did you hear me?"

"Uh… yeah… sounds great," he responded, sticking out his tongue in concentration and adding a bit more chemical. "_Definitely _Ladybug red_…" _He took some notes and then looked out the window with a sigh and a faraway smile.

"Alright, dude, that's it!" Nino barked and punched his friend playfully in the shoulder, startling Adrien so bad that his pencil went flying and thwacked Rose on the head, who yelped and bumped into Juleka who dropped the whole spoonful of chemical into the fire which erupted with a dazzling blue flame, which made Mylene scream and Ivan throw his massive arms around her, knocking Chloe off her lab stool (crying "Ivan! You're ridiculous—utterly ridiculous!) and into Sabrina, who dropped her test tube of chemical powder and it crashed to the floor, spectacularly shattering all over Alix and Nathaniel's shoes, causing Alix to jump out of the way and back straight into Alya—her hand still on the gas, which suddenly cranked on to full-blast and the flame under Marinette's watchful gaze leapt to nearly half a meter high—only missing scorching her arm because a silver-ring-clad hand had wrapped around her bicep and pulled her away a millisecond prior.

Marinette looked up into Adrien's wide green eyes and slowly realized what had just happened. "Are you ok?" he asked quietly. She was paralyzed. Pink clouds gathered, lifting the two of them off the floor and into the sky, swirling in pure bliss off into the eternities where awaited their house and three kids and a sweet little hamster named—

"ADRIEN AGRESTE!"

* * *

Ten minutes later, with the chemistry lab now cleaned up, and considering Alix and Nathaniel had chemical all over their shoes, Mme. Mendeleiev begrudgingly dismissed the class early. Nino was not going to botch a second chance at grilling Adrien—who was in the process of texting his bodyguard to apprise him of the early release. Nino desperately knocked the phone out of Adrien's hand before he could hit 'send.'

"Hey!"

"Dude. You are _not _leaving here until you've given me a decent explanation."

"What are you talking about?"

"What is going on with you?" Nino growled, stabbing a finger into Adrien's pectoral. "You've been on Jupiter all day!"

Adrien paused mid-skip, "On… Jupiter?"

"Hello! Earth to Adrien Agreste! What is it—or…" Nino pondered, noticing Marinette animatedly talking to Alya on the other side of the courtyard, "_who?_"

Adrien's eyes glazed over and his stupid grin returned.

"Holy cow, it _is_ a who!" Nino shouted.

"Shh!" Adrien gasped disarmingly.

"What! When! How! Where!"

Adrien laughed, "Do you need a grammar tutor? I know a good one—"

"Shut up. Answer me."

Adrien shrugged and led the way to the locker room. "She's… it's…" his voice trailed off and his smirk went doughy again.

"Dude. That is _not _an answer."

For a moment, Adrien surveyed his best friend. He opened his mouth a few times, even chewed his lower lip, and right when Nino was certain he was going to relive everything that had happened in the last few days—he resolutely grinned and said, "Sorry, bro, but I promised I wouldn't say anything."

_"WHAT?"_

Adrien clapped Nino's shoulder and the latter winced under his surprising strength. "You're coming to study group tonight, right?"

"No. Don't you dare change the subject."

"So you're _not _coming?"

"Shut up. Answer me."

"Darn, because I've really been looking forward to it…"

"Tell me what you did and just leave out her name!"

Adrien laughed and shook his head. "You know you're my best bro. But my word is my bond. Just come tonight."

Nino scowled, but couldn't find fault in Adrien's admirable loyalty. "It's a good thing Marinette promised to bring macarons, because I deserve them after this disappointing day."

* * *

"Don't you think it's time he got a night off?" Adrien insisted as politely as he could, but Nathalie shook her head.

"No, your bodyguard will stay with you. But you are more than welcome to study with your friends."

Adrien swallowed his snarky retort, well aware of the consequences for talking back. Though, if keeping Gorilla nearby was the price he had to pay for a night with Ladybug and his friends, he would gladly pay it.

Adrien thanked Nathalie and stumped upstairs to his bedroom. He washed his hair twice and put on a freshly ironed shirt.

"What do you think, Plagg," he asked absentmindedly as looked over the cologne samples he had stuffed in one drawer. "_Adrien, _the fragrance, or _Autumn _by Gabriel?"

To Adrien's surprise, Plagg actually looked up from his cheese catalog and said, "Neither."

"Really?"

"Yeah, you need to lay off it, ok?"

Adrien frowned at his kwami. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, quit trying so hard. If it's meant to be it's meant to be and if not it's not. Just relax and be natural."

Plagg had rarely…no, had _never _been so… normal? "Plagg, this girl is the love of my life. I just barely found out that she feels the same way about me as I feel about her. I'm _not _going to let this opportunity slip past me."

Plagg sized him up briefly, then let out a slow, grumbling sigh. "Kid, you're sixteen. There's going to be more than this chance. And even if she _is _the one and someday down the road you decide to marry her, it's not like that day is tomorrow. Seriously, slow down. Just be chill. Get to know her. Get to know other girls too. That baker girl's awfully cute…_and _she makes delicious cheese bread… Just, take your time. Date around. Gain some experience. Taste _everything _on that cheese platter so that when you find your camembert, you'll know there's no other cheese out there for you."

Adrien scratched his head. "You… just had to insert a cheese metaphor, didn't you?"

Plagg rolled his eyes. "But what do I know? I'm just a millennia-old tiny black cat-god of destruction."

"So…" Adrien looked back to the cologne samples, "Nothing?"

Plagg flipped back to the catalog and swished his tail. "Nah, _Adrien, the Fragrance. _Totally."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Kagami Tsurugi was not a vain girl but couldn't help but sneak a second glance at herself in the mirror, because dang, she looked hot.

Immediately she shook those thoughts from her brain and returned to her preparations. It was a study group, nothing more. Marinette had invited her, not Adrien. Marinette, her friend.

But red is such an eye-catching color. Such a _Kagami_ color. The mirror unapologetically flashed her own stunning outfit back at her—her red sweater, black polka-dotted skirt, and flashy red heels. It was a good thing her mother was blind sometimes, because Kagami doubted she'd find this an appropriate outfit for a _study_ group.

Her phone started buzzing; Kagami answered the Facetime call with Marinette.

"Kagami! You look so pretty!" Marinette hummed.

"Thanks, you look lovely as well," she responded truthfully—Marinette always looked lovely.

"So, I've got some bad news; the Couffaines can't make it tonight, so it's just you, me, Adrien, Nino, and Alya."

"That sounds fine," Kagami responded.

"I'm really excited you're coming—I know you're an expert at chemistry, and I wouldn't mind hearing your opinions about this new book we've been assigned."

"I'm looking forward to spending time with you as well, Marinette."

"Alright, well great! We'll see you at the Library in half an hour!"

"Of course, Marinette."

* * *

"You're _sure_ they knew what time to come?" Alya checked her phone for the twelfth time. Oh, they were enjoying themselves already, but Alya and Nino didn't know Kagami very well yet and without Marinette or Adrien, it was slightly awkward.

"I told you already, Nino—I spoke to Marinette on the phone just before I came here. She specifically said half an hour. I don't know what could have possibly held them up."

"Well, there _was _an akuma alert on…" Nino offered.

Alya dismissed that with a wave of her hand, "That's way on the other side of the city. Traffic wasn't even rerouted."

Kagami thumbed mindlessly through her physics text. Nino asked her some questions about his math homework, knowing she was far more knowledgeable than he on the matter. Alya moderated some comments on the LadyBlog, but mostly fretted as she waited for her other two friends to arrive.

Finally, nearly an hour late, Adrien came waltzing in, as charismatic as ever. "Hey guys! Hi Kagami, you look… amazing," he tried to keep the grin from completely overtaking his face.

"Hi Ad-" Kagami began politely before Alya interrupted,

"What in the world held you up? You've been so excited all day and then you're an hour late?"

"Oh, that? Yeah, my bodyguard got… lost…" Just then, Adrien's bodyguard came stomping up from parking the car. He plopped himself at an adjacent table and pulled out a fiery romance paperback and was quickly absorbed in it. The others giggled.

Marinette suddenly burst through the front door of the library and ran to their table, skidding to a halt just a second too slow to avoid ramming into Adrien and tumbling to the chair next to him. "Sorry, guys, my dad asked me to deliver some croissants to the zoo staff-they've got some kind of event tonight—and that's on the other side of town and I got caught in that akuma fight—" Marinette subtly (but not so subtle that Kagami didn't notice) winked at Adrien—"and… well… it was just crazy!"

"Apparently so," Kagami noted, then helped Marinette brush out her disheveled pigtails and re-tie them. "Well, what do you want to study?"

Because Nino's grades were the lowest and math was his worst subject, they started there. However, Marinette was the only one who could explain the process in a way that Nino could understand, and Alya was rapidly taking notes based on Marinette's suggestions, so Adrien saw an opportunity to slide next to Kagami and whisper, "Hey, I mean it, you look beautiful tonight. Red's really your color, y'know?"

"Thanks," she responded under her breath.

"I also wanted to let you know how much I enjoyed seeing you the other night."

She pondered… the reception? Or the few days prior to that after the fencing tournament when she'd admitted to liking Adrien? "I… enjoyed that as well, very much."

He pulled his notebook from his messenger bag to start overlooking his notes, but then noticed Kagami's text and notes already set up and neatly arranged. "Wow, how did you find time to organize everything already?"

She frowned. "_I'm _not the one that was an hour late." Then, in a teasing voice, "I guess I'm just lucky to have Tatsue. It never gets lost."

Adrien laughed and nodded, then made a mental note to suggest a self-driving car to Nathalie as a potential upgrade. It would be wonderful to not have to make excuses to Gorilla continually! Ladybug's genius, once again, amazed him.

"So," she said, turning over a page of her notes and doodling a few anime-style characters, "why were you _really_ late? Because, no, I don't buy that he—" she pointed casually at Gorilla, who was wiping his eyes with a handkerchief and turning yet another page of his romance novel, "got lost. That guy knows Paris better than the pigeons who live on top of Notre Dame. He most certainly knows where the library is."

Adrien pondered briefly before answering. He'd always promised himself that he wouldn't hide his true self from her, once he found her… and now that he had, he suddenly felt a need for caution. Maybe it was Plagg's words still ringing in his ears, maybe it was because he wanted Ladybug to be excited he was Chat Noir, maybe it was because he felt a little guilty that he'd figured it out so easily and she was still struggling… but for whatever the reason, Adrien hesitantly responded, "No, he didn't get lost. But… you know where I was." Then, he narrowed his eyes and widened his smile, just like he did when he was wearing his mask. _C'mon Kagami, recognize me…_

"Nope, pretty sure I don't," she responded, turning back to her doodle.

Marinette, Nino, and Alya's conversation was growing more heated. Adrien took a huge risk, grabbed his own pencil, and doodled a small cat in the corner of Kagami's paper. "There," he admitted proudly, "There I am, right here with you all the time."

She puzzled over his little drawing, and still seemed confused. Adrien smirked, feeling hopelessly brazen, and added a tiny mask around the cat's eyes. "There, now that's purr-fect. You'll want to hold on to this paper, Milady… That's a real cat-ch you've got there… I have a feline that'll be worth big money someday…"

She looked up from her paper to Adrien's suggestively waving eyebrows. "You know, Adrien," she pondered, "Sometimes you're kind of silly."

His face felt like it might split in two. "Silly Kitty!" he whispered exuberantly, "That's right!"


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

It took the whole of seventeen minutes longer to receive enough dirty looks that Nino suggested they move their "study session" outside. Marinette cracked open her boxes of macarons and everyone dove in.

"Thanks, Marinette!" Kagami sighed. "I don't often get sweets, but these are divine."

"That they are," Adrien added, noting to bring plenty of macarons to patrol.

"Yeah, the friend I was telling you about, who made my boots—these are her favorite."

"I can see why," Kagami smiled, helping herself to another.

"Oh!" Alya suddenly piped from the park bench she was currently inhabiting. "Clara Nightingale totally just shared my latest LadyBlog post! This one's going viral for sure!"

"Way to go, Alya!" Adrien congratulated, and the group crowded around Alya's shoulder.

"What's your post about?" Kagami asked politely.

"I'm taking a poll on which was the hardest akuma for Ladybug and Chat Noir, ruling out the mass strikes, of course."

"You need a poll for that?" Marinette scoffed, "The answer's obvious. Gorizilla. No, wait—Volpina. Hang on, I take it back! It was Ch—"

"Obvious, is it?" Alya laughed.

"No way, Anansi was by far the hardest," Nino asserted.

"Why would you say that?" Alya bantered.

Nino stuck his nose in the air and said, "You know what, I don't need to defend my idea to you. I know I'm right."

Adrien surprised everyone by having a very strong opinion on the matter, "You guys are all crazy. The hardest was Desperada. End of story."

Marinette reeled around so rapidly that half a box of macarons went flying. She was giving him the oddest look—a mixture of admiration and pity—"That really was an awful one, wasn't it? I still wish I knew what held up Chat Noir that day…"

"Girl, what're you talking about? Chat Noir was there the whole time," Alya queried.

"Oh, y-yeah," Marinette backpedaled, "I meant at the beginning when Desperada showed up and we were all on the Liberty and… you know, Kagami? When you got hit by her beam first thing?"

Kagami gave Marinette a studious look. "Surely you don't expect Chat Noir to be on scene the second after an Akuma strikes do you?" Adrien's heart leapt when she defended him.

"Of course not! But I'm sure that wouldn't have been such a hard situation… if…"

Marinette was saved by Adrien chiming in, "The good thing was that Ladybug was quick on the uptake and able to save the day."

Alya watched with amazed interest as Marinette actually responded to Adrien, "But only after Chat Noir was by her side. Ladybug's just not Ladybug without Chat Noir."

Adrien blushed slightly, but persisted, "Ladybug is the greatest superhero in Paris. Chat Noir's totally awesome—don't get me wrong—but Ladybug's the star of the show."

"No way." Marinette folded her arms dramatically and her lower lip stuck out. "Chat Noir is the better fighter."

The argument, now started, accelerated. Nino, Alya, and Kagami's eyes bounced between the two of them with bemused interest as Adrien and Marinette heatedly recounted Ladybug and Chat Noir's greatest strengths.

"For example, Chat Noir is _way _better at fencing than Ladybug. Actually, he's better than Ladybug at many things."

"Like what?"

"He's faster, has better hearing, _and _has night vision." Marinette ticked each off on her fingertips.

"Yeah, but Ladybug always comes up with the plans." Adrien's voice raised in intensity, "She figures out how to take a random object and defeat a supervillain with it. And we're not talking big fancy weapons—nope, just ordinary objects like a pillow or a spoon."

"But without Chat Noir, most of those plans would never work out. He's by far the most important of the two."

"No way. Only Ladybug can purify akumas."

"Chat Noir is better at diffusing tense situations and is actually super quick on his toes."

"Have you ever seen Ladybug handling a baby? Because I have, and it's incredible!"

"Oh yeah, but have _you _ever had Chat Noir take a hit for you? He's far more selfless. Do you even _know _how many times Chat Noir has saved Ladybug's life? It's got to be in the hundreds by now!"

"And do _you _know how often Ladybug has saved all of Paris? Every. Single. Time." Adrien tapped his palm hard to emphasize each word.

Marinette's fists flew to her hips and she launched into another diatribe, but Kagami's ears had stopped registering the voices around her.

Now, Kagami Tsurugi had not graduated from her lycée two years early for nothing. As she watched Marinette and Adrien arguing, she could hear it in their voices. And suddenly, memories came flooding back to her—red boots. Macarons. Milady. Bugaboo. Cat puns. Silly Kitty. This sudden, intense defense of Ladybug and Chat Noir—no… she realized as pure, shimmering light broke at the crown of her head and trickled through her entire being—their _partners. _

Once seen, it could not be unseen. It was just so clear now. She could plainly envision the masks on each one of them, see their antics as they bantered back and forth, and understood every word of every conversation with new clarity.

Here she was, on this ordinary fall day on this ordinary sidewalk staring at two ordinary kids who just happened to be Ladybug and Chat Noir.

And they had no clue.

"Ladybug is the most beautiful, powerful, irresistible woman to grace this Earth!" Adrien cried. Marinette drew in a massive breath, prepared to end this argument once and for all, when she was interrupted by Kagami doubling over in a breathless guffaw.

Alya and Nino laughed along because watching Adrien and Marinette bicker like an old married couple was hilarious. Then Marinette realized how ridiculous the whole thing was and started laughing too. When everyone around him was clutching their sides to prevent their ribs from cracking under the strain of so much raw glee, Adrien couldn't suppress his own laughter and soon the five of them were nothing but a fit of giggles.

Alya's phone rang, which drew the group-laugh-therapy session to an abrupt end. "Hey, oh yeah, Nora… that's understandable…. Sure, Nino and I will be there soon…. Sure, I'll ask them…. K, bye."

"What was that?" Nino asked as Alya hung up.

"Nora. My parents need me to put the twins to bed as they've got a late-night catering event at the zoo and Nora's got a match… anyway. She said you guys could come hang out at my place, if you want?"

Marinette quickly agreed via nod. Kagami checked the time on her phone and Adrien looked to his bodyguard. "Oh," Kagami realized with a start, "I should probably be heading home soon."

Gorilla furrowed his eyebrows. "My Father wanted me back soon as well. I'll make sure Kagami gets home alright and see you all on Monday."

Marinette looked at Adrien quizzically, "Are you sure you have to go home so soon?"

Adrien quickly checked both Kagami and Gorilla, then sadly, but resolutely, nodded. "I'm so glad you could come tonight, Marinette. It's been really fun."

She grinned. "Yeah, it has. Let's do it again soon."

"For sure."

Alya, Nino, and Marinette headed off in the direction of the Cesaire's apartment complex.

Adrien turned to Kagami with a glowing smile. She was fishing out her cellphone to send for the car. Adrien's fingers brushed against hers. "Are you sure you have to leave so soon?" She arched an eyebrow at him. He was suddenly very close to her and she could feel his body heat even through her sweater. "I mean, this is the perfect opportunity to be alone together… _Milady._"

But then Kagami's brain caught up with her. Milady. Adrien—no, Chat Noir just called her Milady. Her. Kagami. Her. Kagami Tsurugi had just been called _Milady_ by Chat Noir.

For a fleeting moment, Kagami tried to reason out how she'd gotten to this point in her life. Maybe she'd stepped on a crack or smashed a bumble bee or otherwise ticked off a deity somewhere along the line. But, despite the churning vortex inside her skull dredging up every memory and reviewing every word and thought that had ever dwelled there, she found nothing. Kagami had officially left the realm of sane human relations and skyrocketed into orbit around the Planet of the Absurd in the outer reaches of the Galaxy of Crazy somewhere on the far side of the Universe of Insanity.

The expression on Kagami's face was equal parts humor, confusion, and shock. When her voice started working again, it came out as a blend of a laugh, choke, and snort. "A-Adrien," she said, clearing her voice and trying to shake her brain back into a functionable state, "I do like you, really," she said, "but… but I think my life has reached a whole level of crazy that I'm not ready to deal with just yet."

"A whole level of… _what_?"

"I mean…" She took a second to steady herself and somehow found a smidgen of composure. Her smile was a little too forced, a little too pitiful, "You're cute. But I think there's a lot you don't know about me and even more that I don't know about you. It's probably best we slow down and just get to know each other for a while. So… friends?"

The world had stopped spinning and Adrien was falling, falling into the infinite reaches of outer space. He wasn't sure there was a bottom. How did he… what even happened?

She was shaking his hand, she was collecting her books from the bench where she'd left them, she was sending for the car… and now she was walking away with that awkward little smile of hers and Adrien realized with a horrific lurch of the stomach that she had just said the word 'friends.'

"Wait, Kagami—" he called, chasing after her and catching her gently by the hand, "Milady, my Bugaboo…" She looked slowly at his hand on hers just as a third massive, powerful hand clamped down on Adrien's shoulder. With a start, he reeled around and his eyes met the flesh-hooded eyebrows of his bodyguard.

He wasn't looking at Adrien, though, he was sharing a long sad look with Kagami. The two didn't need words to understand each other. Eventually, both faces switched to that sad, pitiful little smile and they both turned it on Adrien. "I'll see you around, Adrien," Kagami sighed, patting his hand gently, then pulled her hair behind her ear excruciatingly slowly. She spun on her heel and walked away. Gorilla kept Adrien firmly planted to the concrete.

Wait.

Her ear.

Her empty, unpierced ear.

"Oh no," Adrien whispered to himself, "She's not… oh…"

Oh.

Oh crap.

Gorilla's gargantuan hand patted his shoulders again and Adrien winced. "She's not… she's not…" Gorilla gave him a very knowing smile and shook his head. "But you… you know?" He suppressed a chuckle, smiled, shrugged, and then released Adrien and the two walked back to his watchful position in the company sedan.


	9. Chapter 9

Marinette was feeling beyond ridiculous. She'd tried to tell Kagami that she wasn't interested in dating anyone right now, but Kagami had just been _so _intense. Granted, Kagami could be an intense person on a normal day, but Marinette had been taken aback at the flame that danced in her eyes, and she couldn't say, _'Sorry, Kagami, I'm actually Ladybug and Adrien and I have been sneaking kisses lately…' _ So, as Marinette was wont to do whenever she was under fire, she had caved. _"A blind date? Oh, ok," _was all she'd mustered and suddenly Kagami had turned into this crazed beast, all squeals and leaps for joy. It had been so awkward to begin with, that Marinette hadn't the heart to turn her down—or worse, stand up whoever this guy was that she'd set her up with.

So here Marinette was, being blindfolded and read a list of rules by the date coordinator: "No phones, no light-up watches, no recording devices of any kind, and remember, absolutely no removing your blindfold…"

Marinette insisted that she needed her purse, but handed over her phone and then was guided into the art studio. Deprived of her sight, she felt both totally exposed and totally free. She knew she was grinning like an idiot and didn't care.

"Alright, Mademoiselle, sit right here. Your date will come in in just a moment."

Marinette felt the chair in front of her and sat down, then heard the director leave the room. She used her fingers to find her surroundings—an easel with a canvas, the slim wooden handle of a paint brush, a collection of paints… and then she heard the door open and another set of footsteps coming in from behind her.

"Here you are, sir, your date is already here, so say hello."

A nervous, deeper voice said, "Hey." Marinette heard him settle into his own easel. "So… uh, I guess here we are…"

"Yeah," she swallowed hard. "Here we are. So, apparently you know Kagami?"

He laughed. "Yeah, we're acquainted. Are you friends with her?"

"We've hung out a few times," Marinette responded. Silence. She dipped the paint brush in whatever color was closest and, mainly for something to pass the time, started carefully carving lines into the canvas. Without being able to see, she knew if she picked up her hand, any kind of design would be ruined, so she stuck to small, one-line motions.

"Oh this is just so weird!" the boy across from her finally harrumphed, breaking the tension so sharply that Marinette snickered.

"Amen!" she cried. He laughed back. "I mean, when I agreed to go on a blind date—which is totally awkward, especially considering that I'm kind of sort of a little tiny bit already in a relationship, I didn't think Kagami meant literally blind!"

"Kind of sort of a little tiny bit?" he chuckled, "Sounds serious. I'm not going to get beat up by a jealous boyfriend tonight, am I?"

"Oh, no, I don't think so. He's a lover, not a fighter."

"Hm. Sounds like a regular patsy to me."

"No way, he's tough, and I know he'd stand up for me… but it's just kind of complicated."

"I see."

"No you don't."

"Oh, yeah, that's right. I don't see. Shoot. I'd made a personal promise to myself to be the first one to make a blindfold-related pun and I just failed!"

She laughed at his little wail as she re-loaded her brush. "Puns, eh? Sounds like another guy I know."

"_Another _guy? And Kagami thought you needed to be set up on a blind date?"

"What? Oh no, that other guy is just a friend. Well, more like co-worker. Partner. The best one ever, of course, but not someone I could date."

His voice sounded light, "Hm. The best partner ever, huh? Sounds intriguing."

Marinette heard him put paint on his own canvas. "So, are you going to spend the whole evening asking about every random guy in my life?"

He paused as he painted, "I dunno, probably. Got any other interesting boys to tell me about?"

She playfully growled, "Yeah, there's this weird guy who I met on a blind date and won't stop asking about my love life."

"Now _he _sounds like a winner. You should totally date him."

"Ha! Date a guy I've never seen? Based on, what, _personality?_ No way, I'm way more shallow than that."

He laughed uproariously. "You never know, I might actually be good looking."

"Or you might have asked Kagami to set you up on a blind date because you couldn't get a girlfriend any other way."

"Ouch!" he laughed. "I'll have you know that I'm _very _good looking. All the ladies love me."

"So why did Kagami set you up with me instead of nabbing you for herself?"

He choked, "Uh… I… uh… well…"

"Good looking _and _eloquent, apparently," Marinette giggled.

"Hey!" Marinette laughed even harder, before he regained his composure and finished his thought, "Would it shock you to find out that _I _have a little-tiny-bit-sort-of-kind-of person as well?"

Marinette started. She'd been pretty sure she knew who she was talking to—the timbre of his voice, his quick wit, his self-confidence… but she was quite certain he didn't have any kind of a significant other… "_Really?_" was all she was able to squeak out.

"Yes. So, there."

Marinette felt for an empty spot of canvas before continuing her painting, "Tell me about her. Of course, assuming it's a her?"

He chortled. "Yep, a _her, _and she's gorgeous. Amazingly strong. Definitely the jealous type, so don't get funny ideas."

Marinette laughed, and then, feeling reckless, pressed her luck, "Thanks for the warning. I'll try to keep my paws off you." The little gasp he let out was priceless. "Any other girls I should look out for?"

"Who's the obsessed-with-my-love-life-one now?"

Marinette could hear the flurry of brush strokes on canvas from the other easel and wrinkled her nose. "Just trying to make conversation. Do you have anything better to discuss?"

"You said co-worker… want to tell me about work?"

Marinette shrugged, even though she knew he couldn't see her, and decided to have some fun, since she was quite certain the boy at the other easel would get a kick out of this, "Oh, _that? _ Yeah, it's part-time, super fun, dangerous, pretty physically demanding. Consequently, I'm totally ripped." Again, he gasped involuntarily. Yeah. Marinette knew exactly who she was talking to. "I could probably take your mystery woman down, even if she is the jealous type." She laughed her best maniacal evil-villain laugh, but ended it early to add, "What about you, though? School? Work?"

"What _don't _I do is more like it."

"Good looking, articulate, _and _humble? I'm going to have to thank Kagami."

"Hey! It's not my fault I'm naturally talented at so many things. It sure makes for a busy life, though."

"Alright, just tell me about one thing, your most favorite. Like, if you had to give everything up but one, what would it be?" Yeah. That'd tip his hand.

"Ah, that's easy. But it's not something I can talk about."

"Oooh, a secret? I'm _very _good at keeping secrets."

"I doubt that. You already told me how shallow you are—don't think I've forgotten that juicy little tidbit."

"Darn," Marinette sighed melodramatically, "I'll never know my darkness-date's secret favorite activity."

"Darkness Date. I like that. _Hey," _his voice switched to low and suave, _"I'm Darkness Date. Nice to meet you… _Yeah, I like that. I think I've found a new moniker for all time."

Marinette laughed a bit too loudly. "Watch out," she warned, "if you're _too _cute with a blindfolded date, you'd never get to show off those mythical good looks of yours again."

"Too cute, eh? I knew it. I knew you'd fall for me one of these days."

Now it was her turn to gasp. Adrien silently fist-bumped the air. Of course, he'd recognized her voice almost immediately, but he'd done nothing but beat himself up for the last week after misidentifying her once—he wasn't eager to repeat the experience. Now, tonight, he was certain. He was _certain _this had to be her.

Right?

She was stuttering beside him, he could feel the air displaced by her flailing hands washing over him, "Fall for you? Wh-what are you talking about? One of these days? I-I've never m-met you before in my l-life!"

"Uh-huh." He smirked. Definitely. It was definitely her. He added a few final brush strokes to his masterpiece, "There. I think I've got it." He cryptically said. "I must warn you," he teased, "I am an awfully good artist. Just so you know."

Her musical laugh danced over his ears again, making his spine tingle. "I think I'm done too," she said.

"Don't forget to sign it," he said, knowing he was pushing his luck, but unable to help himself. This time, maybe, _maybe, _if he could just get her to write down her name…

"Oh—" the levity in her voice was mesmerizing— "good idea. You have no clue how many times I've forgotten to do that."

Adrien couldn't contain himself. He simply had to know. He knew it was cheating, he knew he shouldn't do it, but he didn't care. He had to know. He grabbed the edge of the blindfold and silently lifted it, eyes still firmly shut.

Marinette felt for the bottom right corner of the painting and prepared to write her name, but then, biting her lip, and hedging all her bets on the certainty that this boy was who she believed him to be, changed her mind. She finished the signature with a snicker. "There. Signed. You'll like it, I hope."

Adrien opened his eyes slowly, bracing to see her there, to find out who she was without the mask, once and for all—

The room was pitch black.

Cursewords!

* * *

Marinette waited until she was home to unroll the painting he'd made for her. The canvas spilled across her bed and she burst out laughing. While it was clear he'd been trying to make something—perhaps with spikes on top? Or maybe those were supposed to be ears? She looked over the black blob across the page and knew, for certain, the only person who could inadvertently turn a plain canvas into _cataclysm in paint._

* * *

Adrien's jaw hit the floor as he looked over her painting. It was one of the more beautiful he'd ever seen, and the knowledge that she'd managed to create something like this in total darkness bowled him over. How? How could she create such smooth lines and intricate textures without being able to see? Oh crap. What if she _could _see? No, that was impossible. He opened the painting all the way, heart pausing its rapid thumping and stomach rolling tight as he reached the bottom right corner and looked for her signature… Her name was going to be right there, and he would finally, _finally _know—

It was a tiny doodle, all one stroke, no letters, just a circle with antennae—a tiny, adorable, precious, tantalizing, _infuriatingly anonymous_ little Ladybug.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

"I have a horrible confession to make," Chat whined as his tail was nervously twitching. He'd been awfully quiet these last two weeks, and Ladybug had pressed him for more information so many times that she'd lost count. Finally, now it was just the two of them, enjoying a rare moment of relaxation on top of their favorite rooftop overlooking the Seine, and Chat's brain was wrung dry after all the wracking and self-depreciation and processing he'd been doing during this painful fortnight. He had determined, at last, that it was time to come clean.

"What's that, Kitty?"

"I thought I'd figured out your identity."

"_What?_"

"Can we please just reveal our identities now? This secret is killing me!"

"Hold on there, Chat. You figured out my identity? How?" Ladybug hopped to her feet and started pacing and scratching her pigtails nervously. She moaned under her breath, "What is up with guys figuring out my identity?"

Chat stroked her shoulders and cut off her rapidly-spiraling-out-of-control train of thought. "I said I _thought _I'd figured it out, not that I _had._"

"Oh," she paused, now overthinking everything, "wait, how are you sure that you were wrong? And what did you think in the first place?"

He flopped to the ground and crossed his legs. His lower lip jutted out in an adorable little pout. "I… You… I was thinking about this girl who we've met a few times who has dark hair and is really smart and…" he shrugged. "I… _IthoughtyouwereKagami!" _he wailed.

Ladybug blinked. Then, she sucked in as much air as her lungs could hold… and then a bit more…and even more…

And Ladybug exploded with a knee-buckling, ear-splitting, diaphragm-bruising laugh. She expended all her air, drew more in, and started again. She fell to Chat's lap and continued, pounding her head into his chest.

He may have been slightly offended when her laugh started, but after a minute passed and she was nowhere near closer to finishing than she'd begun, and especially considering she was now in his lap with her arms around his shoulders and her fingers ruffling his hair in such a loving way, he decided there were worse fates.

After the second minute, his smile cracked.

At the two and a half minute mark, his first chuckle escaped his throat.

By five minutes, the two heroes were tangled in a heap of gangly limbs and raucous laughter.

The tension that had been plaguing Adrien for two weeks melted in his fit of giggles. "You're not angry!"

"Oh Chat," she hiccupped through her tears, "I'm actually super flattered, but… _Kagami?_ She's been akumatized! She's _Ryuko _for crying out loud!"

He decided not to divulge the fact that he'd called Kagami all of Ladybug's pet names. "Hey, is it really that far-fetched? I know _I've _had to throw some people off my scent occasionally, and faking your own akumatization, or even planning an elaborate ruse with a different miraculous would be a sure-fire way to cover your tail."

Ladybug choked mid-laugh and had to double over for a while to work through her coughing fit.

"Ladybug? Are you ok?" Chat queried, patting her gently on the back.

"Y-Yeah, just… yeah…that'd be awfully smart… to… you know… cover your tracks and stuff… The… the fake akuma… yeah! Yeah! Fake akumas, right?" she stammered. _Abort! Abort! Deflector shields up!_

"Wait, _have _you faked your own akumatization?"

"Me? N-n-no, I was just thinking about H-h-Hawkmoth, yeah, Hawkmoth! Like, maybe he would do something like that!"

Chat leapt to his feet, "Whoa, Ladybug, you're right."

"I am? I mean, yeah, of course I am." Ladybug puffed out her chest, still wary of how close he'd made it to the bonus-miraculous ruse of hers.

"What if Hawkmoth _did _akumatize himself so that we'd never suspect him?"

Ladybug dropped her yo-yo with a thunk. Under the spotted mask, Marinette was reeling. Was it really such an impossibility? "Holy cow, what if he _did?_"

"We could know him."

She jumped and grabbed his biceps, salivating with exhilaration, "Yeah. We could have talked to him every day and not known."

"Which would actually make total sense. He could be someone close to us, someone who is trying to figure us out, crafting careful situations to create akumas…"

"Maybe even someone with ulterior motives, something he loves desperately that he wants to use our Miraculouses to save…" her eyes searched his, both of them coming into flawless understanding-

"An obsession that he would stop at _nothing _to protect—"

They nodded at each other, minds and hearts in perfect sync, and as realization dawned between the two incredible superheroes of Paris, they cried their brilliance in tandem: "Monsieur Ramier!"

~~~~~Fin~~~~~

* * *

_Dearest reader, Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for reading! I hope you enjoyed this piece of late-night ridiculousness. I'd love to hear from you if you did. Have a great day! _  
_~**Mommadon**_


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